Tuesday, 24 January 2012

The C word

The thing about the C word, is when you hear it, you only think of one thing. I only think of one thing. I cannot even bring myself to write the word, the one thing down. I did it but had to delete it, it was too much.

When you are told that someone you love, someone who means the absolute world to you, someone you cannot, should not, will not live without, has the C word, the world stops. Then it speeds up, you fast forward, make plans, prepare for the worst, figure out how you will cope. Then it goes backwards, tries to find answers, blame, guilt. How did this happen? What did I do wrong? What should I have done differently?

Then there you are, back in the present. With the information you have been given. Not enough but too much, all at the same time.

And you realise, that all that matters is today. Getting through today, having today, appreciating today. Doing the best you can do with today. Because you don't know what tomorrow will bring other than another today.


I have been skulking in the background of lovelinks for a few weeks now, reading and commenting rather than writing and while I have been away it's changed! It's now called Yeah Write and has a shiny new badge to prove it. Click on it and spread the love.

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16 comments:

  1. kimberly24 January 2012 at 21:32

    Glad you are writing. Thanks for having courage to share your thoughts. This is an inspiring reminder of all things important.

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    Replies
    1. Ali26 January 2012 at 10:42

      Thanks, writing about it has really helped. x

      Delete
  2. Meg O'Keefe25 January 2012 at 00:34

    So well said - thanks for sharing!

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  3. Andrea @ The Penny-Roach's25 January 2012 at 02:00

    The C-word sucks.

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  4. Kate F. @katefineske25 January 2012 at 03:10

    God. I hate the C word. Living in the present is much easier said than done. We lived in complete fear of the C for over a year and were fortunate to have a positive resullt. Prayers are with you. And yes. Live for today - when you can. But let yourself cry every once in a while... it gives you more strength (at least it did for me...)

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    Replies
    1. Ali26 January 2012 at 10:43

      Thanks, we have done a lot of crying this week! It does help to keep you strong I agree. So sorry you had to go through it too, it truly sucks. xx

      Delete
  5. Alison25 January 2012 at 06:02

    Stay strong. And the C word sucks. SUCKS.

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  6. Karin @Mommy's Paradise25 January 2012 at 13:40

    The C word makes me shiver, I don't want to think about it, I push it away. You are so right, life today and enjoy today.
    I like the quote you picked for your post. And you are strong enough to live this life. :-)

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  7. Unknown25 January 2012 at 14:43

    My mother has been battling the C-word for years. She has been extremely lucky. She's a tough woman who has not finished living her life.

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    Replies
    1. Ali26 January 2012 at 10:44

      So sorry about your Mum, hopefully she will continue to battle and to be lucky for many years to come. And hopefully my man will also! x

      Delete
  8. Dude of The House25 January 2012 at 21:53

    We all do the best that we can with what we have.
    C Sucks! Stay strong.

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  9. Mommy2¢25 January 2012 at 22:22

    My prayers are with you. Sorry you're going through this.

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  10. Laura@Catharsis25 January 2012 at 23:54

    Oh, God, I am so sorry. The C word is a mean monster, one who comes out of the closet to scare far too often. Thinking of you.

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  11. Jackie26 January 2012 at 03:20

    I am so sorry. The big C does suck, and seems to be around way too much.

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  12. Shannon from mynewfavoriteday26 January 2012 at 18:40

    I am so sorry, and it's so hard to say the words that are so terrible sometimes. I wish you much strength, love and courage as you embark on this journey and many prayers to you and those you love that will experience this with you.

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  13. Lenore Diane26 January 2012 at 21:33

    You picked a great time to come out of the shadows, Ali. No one should be alone when dealing with the "C" word or any other of life's major challenges.
    I think you will find a great deal of support within the blogosphere. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

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