Monday, 11 July 2011

The trouble with decking

Today was the third week in a row that I have lost something between the decking at playgroup. Week one it was my phone. It slipped out my pocket and right through the gap. Shock horror. The caretaker was called and with lots of huffing and puffing (and I'm pretty sure he was mad enough to have blown my house down if he knew where it was) he lifted the deck and rescued it. I laughed. Week two it was a kiddy-clip (a device to stop children from losing their hearing aids if they fall out) that wasn't mine. Luckily the Mum didn't need it and so didn't call the wolf back again. We laughed. This week it was William's right hearing aid. This week I cried. There are so many hard things about having a child with a hearing impairment but I sometimes think the hardest thing of all is the practical side of hearing aids. Putting them in. Keeping them in. Checking if the battery works. Re-tracing steps looking for them after they have been thrown out of the pushchair, sometimes in the pouring rain or howling wind. Sometimes for hours. Watching my son even closer than you watch any child. Putting something in his hand as soon as it goes towards his ear. Using every ounce of energy to play games and sing songs and keep his attention away from the aids. Finding half a hearing aid and panicing about the trip to the hospital to have the other part pumped out if his stomach. Or the vet to do the same to the cat.

Yep, the hardest thing about having a hearing impaired child is the practical side of the hearing aids. Or perhaps it's just because they represent all the guilt, fear, distress, concern, anxiety, and self hatred that is there bubbling under the surface of a Mum who doesn't understand why this happened to her baby.

1 comment:

  1. I'm sure it's hard to say these things (write these things!) out loud but there are millions of other Moms who have been where you are and felt how you feel. Try to focus on the good and know that he loves his Mum. If you haven't read this post of mine...
    We all have our moments.